The flat is perfect. It's huge and so close to Ann I could use a tin can and a string to call her. Let me tell you, on a day like this, that is a godsend. All she and I kept saying, between puking and flooding washing machines, was 'could you imagine how hard this would be if you lived in Kennington?'
I was almost in tears at the thought of having to spend the night in the half-moved-into, cold, empty flat with no TV, no phone, not internet and sick, crying kids. Not to mention no towels, no extra sheets, no sheets at all in fact, and a washing machine that hates me. Ann, my fairy godmother, told us to just sleep here again. Charlene and Triin are also sleeping over, so the kids are on the floor on a little mattress. It truly looks like a refugee camp and we have four countries represented - UK, USA, Estonia and South Africa. Ann's the only one with a UK passport, I think.
The previous tenants left furniture that might be the landlord's, I'm not sure. But we have two double beds, a futon, a small sleeper sofa, a regular sofa, a loveseat, two wardrobes, two more rickety storage units, two dressers, a kitchen table and four chairs. We also bought a TV, two bookcases and some other small storage units from the tenants. (They're going back home to New Zealand.) Not bad. The couches and kitchen table/chairs are pretty nasty so I think I'm going to buy some new-to-me ones off gumtree. And I havel to buy the loft beds.
We got a ton of stuff from Argos for next to nothing. For those of you residing in the US, Argos is like Service Merchandise. Remember them? You go into the store and order stuff out of the catalog and they get it and give it too you. The kids thought it was too cool. I can order the beds online and they'll deliver them for 5 pounds 80. Can't beat that.
I'll take pictures when the camera battery charge shows up. I know it's somewhere!
Night, night.
The same old road that brought you here crosses seven bridges home. Something for me to remember!
Saturday, September 5, 2009
Everyone else...
...knows what they are doing with their life and never second-guesses their decisions. I know I'm the only one. Everyone else is thinner and richer and more together than I am. Everyone else has their love life in order and has better hair. I'm sure of it. Everyone else lets their kids have perfect lives and doesn't drag them across the world for selfish reasons.
This is a really nonlinear thing but I've decided I'm not a really linear person, so I'll going to write as if I don't need the money. :) Sometimes you might get an idea of what we have done, sometimes not.
I hope the kids don't read this yet. I need this space for my doubts and fears. My unedited doubts and fears. It's so hard for me, emotionally, teaching them that it's possible to hold conflicting emotions in your heart at the same time - you can miss home and daddy AND be excited about new things at the same time.
Sometimes this feels like the hardest thing I've done yet in my life. And I worry that I've make the wrong choice. If I was a crying person, I would cry today. But I didn't. Apparently I only cry at movies. And I'm listening to Cheryl Wheeler sing Almost over and over again. Not sure why.
Ananda was sick as a dog today. She puked up so much. And she was sobbing because she felt so bad. The Maya was crying because she misses Kurt. And last night Zoe sobbed for an hour because she misses everything.
And let's not the mention the 'who gets their own war' battle of 2009. Oh my god. Zoe finally got that one. Jesus, it's so hard to balance the emotional and physical and psychic needs of four people. You can't just take on person's needs into account. I'd thought that Ananda would need it the most but I swear Zoe was having a nervous breakdown. So now Maya and Ananda are sharing the biggest room with the en suite bathroom. Ananda has the larger, brighter side wiith a double bed and a pull out couch, which really is nice and Maya has the cozy nook. We're going to put in a loft bed and a curtain and a bean bag or two. I think it will be nice. Zoe has the smallest room that shares a sliding wall with the living room. She'll get a loft bed, too. She can have her pink and black bedroom.
This week has been hard on all of them. Zoe's burden is that she isn't used to being forced to be in company for so long. Even the company of her sisters. She's had no alone time. Neither have I and it's making us both crazy. I feel so bad when I lose my temper with them. I know how hard it is. But the crying every night over missing Kurt...sigh.
I was two seconds away from sending Nan home. If it weren't that deep in my heart I believe this is a good thing for her, I would do it. It's when I waver and worry that maybe I am making a huge mistake, that I want to send them all home.
Because, truthfully, this would be so much easier for me if I were alone. I would have been out at the ballroom dancing class with Ann instead of holding puke bowls and getting crying kid snot all over me. But I love them and want them to experience life. If I don't push then, who will? Okay, it's one am. I might be able to sleep.
This is a really nonlinear thing but I've decided I'm not a really linear person, so I'll going to write as if I don't need the money. :) Sometimes you might get an idea of what we have done, sometimes not.
I hope the kids don't read this yet. I need this space for my doubts and fears. My unedited doubts and fears. It's so hard for me, emotionally, teaching them that it's possible to hold conflicting emotions in your heart at the same time - you can miss home and daddy AND be excited about new things at the same time.
Sometimes this feels like the hardest thing I've done yet in my life. And I worry that I've make the wrong choice. If I was a crying person, I would cry today. But I didn't. Apparently I only cry at movies. And I'm listening to Cheryl Wheeler sing Almost over and over again. Not sure why.
Ananda was sick as a dog today. She puked up so much. And she was sobbing because she felt so bad. The Maya was crying because she misses Kurt. And last night Zoe sobbed for an hour because she misses everything.
And let's not the mention the 'who gets their own war' battle of 2009. Oh my god. Zoe finally got that one. Jesus, it's so hard to balance the emotional and physical and psychic needs of four people. You can't just take on person's needs into account. I'd thought that Ananda would need it the most but I swear Zoe was having a nervous breakdown. So now Maya and Ananda are sharing the biggest room with the en suite bathroom. Ananda has the larger, brighter side wiith a double bed and a pull out couch, which really is nice and Maya has the cozy nook. We're going to put in a loft bed and a curtain and a bean bag or two. I think it will be nice. Zoe has the smallest room that shares a sliding wall with the living room. She'll get a loft bed, too. She can have her pink and black bedroom.
This week has been hard on all of them. Zoe's burden is that she isn't used to being forced to be in company for so long. Even the company of her sisters. She's had no alone time. Neither have I and it's making us both crazy. I feel so bad when I lose my temper with them. I know how hard it is. But the crying every night over missing Kurt...sigh.
I was two seconds away from sending Nan home. If it weren't that deep in my heart I believe this is a good thing for her, I would do it. It's when I waver and worry that maybe I am making a huge mistake, that I want to send them all home.
Because, truthfully, this would be so much easier for me if I were alone. I would have been out at the ballroom dancing class with Ann instead of holding puke bowls and getting crying kid snot all over me. But I love them and want them to experience life. If I don't push then, who will? Okay, it's one am. I might be able to sleep.
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Planes, trains and policemen
I would love for this to be a witty and fabulous blog but I bet it won't be. It's going to be just barely above a stream of consciousness.
The plane rides were uneventful. We didn't manage to get four seats together from Minneapolis to London but we did get 2 in row 15 and the same 2 in row 16. I was happy with Northwest, thought the plane was overbooked. The entertainment is on-demand screens at each seat. A nice selection of movies and TV and music and games. You can pause, fast-forward and rewind the movies and watch as many as you have time for. That results in less of a rush for the loos when the movie ends! And the wine and beer were free, even in economy.
A nice bonus they also had was a/c power in the seats in the first cabin of economy class.
::time passages::
So it's almost a week later and I've forgotten everything in a jetlag haze. Except the part with the taxi, so I'm going to write about that.
So the flights are fine. The kids are golden. Everything went as well as could be expected (except I left the jet-lag medicine in the overhead bin and felt it was too much effort to get it out being that we were in the middle seats. I was wrong.) Anyway, we land and have to go through customs and get the bags. Takes a while as the flight was uber-full with all the students. So we were up about 45 minutes later. I don't see anyone waiting with a sign.
No problem. I have the number and TMobile said Ananda's phone would work in the UK. Take out the phone. No service. Am I suprised? No. Just disappointed. The kids are still good. I pull out some coins (because I Am Prepared) and call. The driver is there, he's over by rental car counter. I look around. Oh, you mean *that* guy? The one with the sign with my name on it being talked to by not one but two police officers. Great.
Long, long story short. He has no livery license, no insurance and an incorrect drivers license. The cops won't let him drive. Becase I Am Prepared I have prepaid. 78 pounds. After waiting 45 minutes at the Starbucks, with the kids wilting, keeping Ann updated with my dwindling coin supply, we end up getting TWO black cabs. The cabbies think we are insane as the ride from Heathrow to Greenwich is an hour or so. A mere 180 pounds later, I'm at Ann's.
Now I have to write a letter to the cab company to get a refund. (That pisses me off. Just give me the @#$ refund. You bastards know I paid.) I have had zero time this week to do it. It's on the list. The list is getting long long long.
Wait until I write about the rest of the week. At least there are no more cops involved.
The plane rides were uneventful. We didn't manage to get four seats together from Minneapolis to London but we did get 2 in row 15 and the same 2 in row 16. I was happy with Northwest, thought the plane was overbooked. The entertainment is on-demand screens at each seat. A nice selection of movies and TV and music and games. You can pause, fast-forward and rewind the movies and watch as many as you have time for. That results in less of a rush for the loos when the movie ends! And the wine and beer were free, even in economy.
A nice bonus they also had was a/c power in the seats in the first cabin of economy class.
::time passages::
So it's almost a week later and I've forgotten everything in a jetlag haze. Except the part with the taxi, so I'm going to write about that.
So the flights are fine. The kids are golden. Everything went as well as could be expected (except I left the jet-lag medicine in the overhead bin and felt it was too much effort to get it out being that we were in the middle seats. I was wrong.) Anyway, we land and have to go through customs and get the bags. Takes a while as the flight was uber-full with all the students. So we were up about 45 minutes later. I don't see anyone waiting with a sign.
No problem. I have the number and TMobile said Ananda's phone would work in the UK. Take out the phone. No service. Am I suprised? No. Just disappointed. The kids are still good. I pull out some coins (because I Am Prepared) and call. The driver is there, he's over by rental car counter. I look around. Oh, you mean *that* guy? The one with the sign with my name on it being talked to by not one but two police officers. Great.
Long, long story short. He has no livery license, no insurance and an incorrect drivers license. The cops won't let him drive. Becase I Am Prepared I have prepaid. 78 pounds. After waiting 45 minutes at the Starbucks, with the kids wilting, keeping Ann updated with my dwindling coin supply, we end up getting TWO black cabs. The cabbies think we are insane as the ride from Heathrow to Greenwich is an hour or so. A mere 180 pounds later, I'm at Ann's.
Now I have to write a letter to the cab company to get a refund. (That pisses me off. Just give me the @#$ refund. You bastards know I paid.) I have had zero time this week to do it. It's on the list. The list is getting long long long.
Wait until I write about the rest of the week. At least there are no more cops involved.
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